besties or lovers?

People who love someone of the same sex, or who crossed the gender roles expected by their society, have existed in every period of history. Ancient sources already speak of relationships between men and between women. In the Middle Ages and the early modern period, such lives appear in court records, chronicles and saints’ legends.

Queer identities are therefore not a modern invention. Their self-understanding, however, differed from ours. Modern terms such as “lesbian”, “gay”, “trans” or “queer” did not yet exist. The clear distinction between homosexual and heterosexual preference only became established as a concept around 1870.

In historical research, this is known as the problem of anachronism. Present-day identity terms cannot simply be transferred to earlier societies. People’s sense of self was different, and so were language, gesture and expressions of affection. This makes it difficult for historians to define relationships precisely. Were two people close friends? Siblings? Housemates? Teacher and pupil? Confidants? Or lovers?

The semantics of friendship play an important role here. In premodern Europe, “ideal friendship” between men was often seen as the highest and spiritually purest form of attachment, far above marriage, which was mainly as a practical arrangement. The passionate language found in old letters can sound like a declaration of love to us today. At the time, it was often part of a common rhetorical style among close friends. Without clear evidence of physical intimacy, historical interpretations therefore often remain cautious, in order to respect the integrity of the period.